Ah, the Writing Life…
Here’s a cool essay on the value of a liberal arts education.
From PointInCase.com:
Now, I’m not telling you to not follow your dreams. But if you think you’re going to make it big in the dancing, acting, singing, writing or drawing worlds, you’ve got to come to a bit of reality. If you want the arts to be your career, you have to get a job first. And jobs usually suck. There’s a difference between a job and a career. When you have a job, you say, “Well, I’m a waiter. But I really want to be a writer.” When you have a career, you say, “I’m a reporter for the second-most-influential kitten magazine in the Northeastern United States. Please fucking kill me.”
After discussing the merits of taking your clothes off for a living, possibly the most lucrative career path for a female liberal arts major (not so much for middle-aged fat white guys), he talks about the time-honored food and beverage industry, garbage collecting and mail delivery careers.
For those language majors there’s this:
Are you majoring in Spanish-language literature? Well, I have the job for you! It’s called, “Construction Worker.” You see, since you can habla Espanol, that means you can work and relate with Hispanic people who build houses, dig ditches and clean sewers. That is, once you dump the wussy Spaniard accent. Real Mexicans think the European way of speaking Spanish is gay. And they’ll think you are too unless you learn their way of Spanish.
Like this guy,I thought I was a genius with my double major in journalism and economics, the value of which in real 2009 dollars is exactly, ummm, nothing. The practical benefit of my education is understanding how badly the U.S. economy is performing right now, will perform in the near and distant future and the realization that my entire career and financial prospects have been subsumed in a vast vortex of suckiness.
Hey, it’s rough out there. I know just as well as anybody else. I’m not just a dumbass who majored in English at NYU, I furthered my education and earned a master’s in print journalism—that’s about as worthless as a degree in steam engine repair. So I have two worthless stints of higher education and five years of writing experience. You know what my job prospects are? Yep, I’m getting demoted to working the door as a bouncer in a fucking bar. Guess how proud my parents are of their cultured little genius? Hopefully very proud, because I’ll probably be moving back in with them soon.
Hey, it could be worse. You could be working retail. Talk about hell on earth. Surly customers, cranky managers, despotic working hours and slave wages. What more could you ask for? A bullet in the head would be nice. Thank you.
Reminds me of a joke:
How do you get a journalism school graduate off your front porch?
No Hope in Hope
A short article in the U.K. Telegraph confirms what I have always suspected, pessimists are happier in the long run than optomist.
There are two basic attitudes to adversity, exemplified by Nietzsche and Christopher Reeve. When the Superman actor was left paralysed from the neck down, he refused to despair. “Once you choose hope,” he insisted, “anything’s possible.” He died nine years later, still a quadriplegic. The philosopher, a syphilitic and part-time psychotic, preferred to face the future with cold realism. “Hope is the worst of evils,” he opined, “for it prolongs the torments of man.” He, too, died in his fifties, paralysed by a series of strokes.
The value of positive thinking has become so embedded in popular culture that to doubt it can make you seem a killjoy. Pessimism is seen as needlessly defeatist – even dangerous. But a new survey suggests that the reverse may be true. Of a group of Americans who had undergone colon surgery, half were told that their intestines could eventually be reconnected; the rest that they would need a colostomy bag for the rest of their lives. Those given the bad news – and the benefit of certainty – proved far happier over the next six months than those still hoping for surgery.
“There can be a dark side to hope,” say the researchers – confirming, a century later, what Nietzsche could see even from the lunatic asylum.
Don’t tell The Obama.
Verizon DSL Still Sucks
… In case you’re wondering.
‘Robocalls’
The senior senator from the Commonwealth of Virginia teamed up with the scumbag senator from the great state of New York to tackle the vexing issue of “robocalls.”
The nation’s economy is in shambles and these clowns are worried about nuisance telemarketers.
From an email I received today from Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va.):
Also on the consumer front, I was pleased last week to join my colleague, New York Senator Charles Schumer, in announcing a Federal Trade Commission investigation and enforcement action against major players behind those annoying vehicle warranty “robocalls.”
If you have not received one of these automated calls at your home, workplace, or even on your cell phone, I’ll bet a member of your family has. I am pleased that the FTC has taken quick and aggressive action to shut-down these scammers, and I urge Virginia consumers to continue to be vigilant – and cautious — when responding to any unsolicited offer that uses scare tactics to try to prompt immediate action.
Well, thanks goodness Chuck and Mark on on the case. The Rebublic and its citizens are safe.
Really the best way to deal with Robocalls, or any telemarketing nuisance call, is to keep them on the phone for as long as you can. They want to close deal quickly so they can move on to the next sucker.
By keeping the salesman on the phone, delaying the hoped for yes decision with endless questions about the product or service, you drive up the cost of making the call. You also screw up the caller’s sales/hour ratios.
“Ah, but that poor guy is just doing his job,” some say. Too bad, he’s an idiot working for a scummy company and deserves no pity.
I think the longest I’ve kept a salesman on the phone before finally hanging up with a “no” to the sales pitch was about 30 minutes.
I use a similar strategy for junk mail from credit card companies. Before my credit rating was trash, I used to get half a dozen or more of those “pre-approved” credit offers a week.
They always come with a self-addressed stamped envelop for returning the signed application. I used to take all the stuff that came in the original envelope, including the original envelope, and tear it all into little pieces and then stuff it all in the return envelope and mail the shredded pitch back to the credit card processor.
I’ve even included potato peals and other organic matter to bulk up the weight of the envelope. So, not only does the company not get the sale, but they have to pay extra for the return postage. After a few months of this unsolicited credit offers should stop coming in the mail.
Worked for me.
Goth Makeup Tips
Nothing says, “I hate my dad,” like Goth makup on a girl, or boy, I suppose.
Grassroots Vs. Astroturf Protest
There’s a good tutorial on how to tell an authentic grassroots protest from a manufactured, or astroturf, protest at Berman Post.
Notice the difference in signs the various protestors are carrying. I made a similar point in commenting on the Tax Day Tea Party protest last month,
50 Tools You Need
I have all but three of these.
CDC Swine Flu Alert
ATTENTION CITIZENS:
The U.S. Centers for Disease Controls announced procedures to avoid contracting the deadly swine flu:
DON’T DO THIS!
I Hate TurboTax
Ok, so filing my federal and state taxes makes me cranky anyway–even though I’m getting a humongous return–but this year’s edition of TurboTax is a frustrating, irritating, a pain in the butt.
First, I’ve been going around to Staples, Walmart, et.al. to try to find the cheapest place to buy the software. I saw on the TurboTax web site what turned out to be a complete bullshit price tease of $29.95 for the federal return online. No sign of what the state return will cost, but hey, can’t be much more than the $15 or so they’ve charged in the past.
Boy was I wrong.
After going through all the crap to file my return, plugging all the income and deduction stuff, you get to a screen asking if you want to e-file your return. Fine. Let’s do it.
But, instead of $29.95, it costs $69.00 because they charge $39 to file your state return. That THIRTY-NINE FREAKING DOLLARS to file a state return. Absolutely amazing. An absolute ripoff. And one not at all mentioned anywhere on their website BEFORE you fill out the return.
Well there’s an option to download your data file so you can install the software on your own computer and do your return that way.
I drove to Walmart. Bought the Delux version, which on the box says you get a free state filing with it, as well as the ability to file five more returns (I guess for friends and family).
Problem, though, is the CD is damaged. It had a glob of something stuck on it. I scratched it off, trying not to damage the CD itself. Tried to install the program on my Dell desktop, which granted is a bit of a dinosaur. After about 40 minutes and several attempts I quit. The program would crash every time it tried to update itself over the Internet.
I took the 2008 data file and copied it to my laptop and now I’m trying to install the program on this machine. So far the update and installation process is proceeding without incident.
Right now, I’m waiting for the program to relaunch itself……..
……..
……..
Still waiting…….
Ok, there it goes.
Problem, doesn’t appear that the info from the data file is recognized by the program. Also, when I try to download the state program I get an Error: 539 code. Terrific.
Web site says close out the program and reopen and start a new return, then download the state program.
Did all that. The data from the earlier version transferred fine to the program. I completed the process and got to the e-file stage, and guess what? While the state download is free, they want $19.95 to file the state return electronically.
Total BS.
I filed the federal through TurboTax and will just print out the state return and mail it in.
What a joke. Next year I’ll find some other program or just do the whole thing manually.
Here’s a Handy List
A pretty exhaustive list, but with a little practice I think we can all joyfully engage in most of the blasphemies.
An Amazon Book Recommendation
Not sure how you order the accessories…
Health Tips for ‘Yutes’
Ten Ways to Ruin Your Health and Die Young.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh, and how about a “cheeseburger in paradise.”
Black Friday
No, not the new Obama holiday, the day after Thanksgiving. For people who actually have some money…
Free Dr Pepper
WooHoo! Free Dr Pepper
Free Dr Pepper in recognition of the new Guns N Roses album release.
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